Obituary of Leila Jane Smith Whitlow

Leila Jane Smith Whitlow, 91, passed away peacefully on Friday, February 19, surrounded by all her children. She was a guiding light of love and dedication to her four children, and beloved “Grandy” to her six grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. Leila (“Lee”) lived on Hilton Head Island for 25 years after moving to the Low Country in 1996 with her husband of 58 years, Robert Spencer Whitlow, who predeceased her in 2011.

Born on September 30, 1929 in Mount Vernon, NY, Lee was the second treasured daughter of the late Leland and Reba Mae Smith. Her equally warm-hearted sister, Joyce Smith Glueck. predeceased her in 1993. Lee was, and remains in memory, a cherished and attentive mother to her three sons, Robert, Douglas (wife Anna-Barbara Baertschi), Scott (wife Joan Parks) and to her daughter Elizabeth (husband John Farrell).  In addition, she was Grandy to Erin, Katelynd, Cooper, Jacob, Alexander and Emily, and Great-Grandy to Isabella, Hayden, Willamena, Caleb, Zenon and Poppy.

After graduating from Pelham High School in Pelham, NY, Lee earned her Associate Degree from Wesley College in Dover, Delaware. She then joined some adventurous girlfriends in Manhattan Beach, CA, for six months before returning to New York City for professional work. This is when Lee settled in as a legal secretary for Cal-Tex Petroleum Company and where she met her future husband, Bob, who was an associate general counsel. After a six-month courtship, they were engaged and married in May 1953, soon leaving work to start a family and become a full-time homemaker. When her youngest child turned twelve, Lee returned to the workforce in 1979 and was promoted to facilities/office manager for Continental Can Company in Stamford, CT. Even after moving to the Low Country, she never fully retired for many years, having taken part-time work in home-care for clients with dementia and other challenges of aging.

Lee and Bob moved from Bronxville, NY, to New Canaan, CT, in 1957 to raise their children before moving to South Salem, NY in 1986 and finally to Hilton Head. During the child rearing years, Lee took great joy in being their guide, confidant, nurturer and cheerleader for a multitude of activities. In addition to rigorous attention to their formal education, she promoted work experience in after-school and weekend jobs. Lee and Bob also encouraged their participation in swimming, diving, tennis, golf, school sports and Little League, as well as taking dance classes with the stage productions that follow.  Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts were also important in their family, and Lee acted as Den Leader for Cub Scouts and Girl Scouts. Outdoor sports like skiing, camping and fishing brought many happy family memories of travel and exploration, with visits to important sites in American history among them.

Lee was a lifelong service volunteer as well. She was an active member with the Junior League of Stamford-Norwalk, CT, for decades, and continued her volunteer activities supporting the Junior League of Savannah. Lee’s commitment to helping others began at a very young age, encouraged by her mother Reba’s initiatives with the Foundling Hospital of New York. Reba instilled in both her daughters the sense of responsibility to also care for animals in need. Lee began rescuing cats at the age of eight, which evolved into an enduring love for all cats. She became a particular fan, pet owner and amateur breeder of Siamese, Burmese and Abyssinians. Her compassion extended to dogs as well, and the children grew up having two rescue dogs for pets while learning the responsibilities that entails. Even well into her 80s, Lee would take care of the cats and dogs of vacationing friends and neighbors, in their homes or in hers, so that they would not have to be kenneled.

Lee and Bob enjoyed a couple’s bridge group that played monthly while living in New Canaan. These were dear family friends and “bridge night” became an image in the minds of their young children of the importance of lifetime friendship and loyalty. After moving to Hilton Head, Lee remained a dedicated and enthusiastic bridge player, joined by Bob until his passing and continuing with her ladies’ group of friends. Lee also was an excellent cook, loved searching and trying new recipes and was a member of various gourmet cooking clubs over the years.

Lee will be celebrated in a memorial this summer and interred alongside her husband, sister, parents and extended family at Kensico Cemetery in Valhalla, NY. In lieu of flowers, you might leave a gift to the charity of your choice. Or, considering this difficult past year with so many people suffering, you could honor Lee by assisting somebody in need with her memory in your heart, be it with a simple gesture, a selfless act or more tangible token of support. Condolences for the family may be left with IslandFuneralHome.com